Environment has been an integral part of literature. One wonders, what the literary geniuses felt about the environment when they wrote their finest pieces, sitting in the lap of the mountains looking over the woods and while winds played with their emotions. Taking the ‘path of mock literature’, let’s see what John Milton would have wanted to say.
John Milton was a 17th century poet and intellect who has now become a standard figure in the literary arena. John Milton ‘s magnum opus ( his greatest work) ‘Paradise Lost ‘ is a tale of Fall of Man, Lucifer’s Conspiracy to defeat God and banishment of Adam and Eve.
A Fight in Heaven: John milton
Book 1 starts in media res ( in middle of action) with Satan and his allies laying tied on the lake of fire. Satan lies defeated yet determined.
Lucifer Morningstar (Satan), the fallen angel decides that it is very difficult to defeat God On the frontier thus he will corrupt everything good including God’s new creation : Humans!
Adam and Eve, ignorant- innocent , were the residents of Eden.
In next 11 books john Milton describes, Satan manages to enter Heaven, Persuades Eve to eat the forbidden fruit and invites God’s wreath on her which finally results in the expulsion of Human Race.
Was it just the Fruit?
What if God was angry because Eve, guided by Satan, might have broken a branch or two while plucking the fruit and forced Adam to do the same .
Their actions probably would have destroyed the Tree of Knowledge and now since they have it, it triggered God what they could do to his residence!
They could have setup a Fruit stall outside god’s Palace, throwing peels right outside his door. They could have set up an industry in Heaven or may be a flour mill, or could have built an Aircraft.
Was their coming to this world a punishment or the omniscient God actually tried to protect his Paradise from Anthropogenic actions? Imagine.
An Industrialized Eden
Eve would have started her own Catering business, delivering all sort of delicacies to the Archangels. Of course, she would have used a refrigerator to store them, sending all sorts of Chlorofluorocarbons into the atmosphere which would have destroyed the invisible protection dome around heaven.
Adam would probably have established an IT firm to manage the database of Heaven and Hell. Sounds fancy! but it would have generated lots of electromagnetic radiations which would have ultimately ended up interfering with the navigation of Guardian Angels.
They definitely would have overpopulated Paradise creating slums in Eden with sanitation problem, employment issues, plagues, heaps of garbage, deforestation, illegal land grabbing and what not!
The fertile Soil of Arcadia, they would have sprayed with all sorts of pesticides, and chemical fertilizers to meet the increasing demands of Food. Imagine Angels born with genetic mutation, Alzheimer’s disease, Diabetes Mellitus and other sufferings.
To treat it, God would have had to establish ‘ The Seraph’s Hospital and Medical Institute’. All the medicinal and toxic waste would then have been dumped here and there. How would have the Angels managed with wings and aprons? They would have just flown with waste bags in their hand to find a dumping place and secured the first place one would find.
Image By Suicasmo, illustration of Industrialised Eden
Adam’s children would have demanded new toys to play with and maybe firecrackers. That would have required a set up of pyrotechnics, metal salts like strontium carbonate, calcium-sodium-Barium chloride and a spark of heavenly fire. I can only imagine!
That poisonous smoke could have given our poor old God and other senior Members serious breathing problems.
The Nile, Euphrates, Amu and Syr rivers ( supposedly the rivers which meet in heaven) would have entertained aqua industries , waterparks , underwater research laboratories and water traffic. Adam would have taken Eve for a cruise trip causing both water and air pollution. The fishes in heaven would have cried tears of misery!
Adam would have flaunted his hunting skills to impress his other half and killed all sort of Heavenly creatures ( from Book of Ezekiel) like Cherubim, unicorn etc. to decorate his living room walls.
The Archangel Michael annoyed by him, would have entered the market to prove his superiority and would probably start a theater or his own multiplex. Other angels would have followed the lead and organized their own rock bands under a Gothic banner. Noise pollution alert! Would God have managed to secure a good night’s sleep?
Cupid, to avoid depression, would have launched a matrimonial platform and associated industries. He would have manufactured love potions, chocolate , perfumes etc. God feared receiving a goodie package for the Valentine’s ( where would he throw the wraps, litter like us?)
Aphrodite, bored in Greece would have applied for Visa there to Launch her apparel line , alarming the onset of Diasporic issues. Not only this but to create leather goods and fur items, she would have endangered the heavenly biodiversity and God then would have to manage the Empyrean Red Data Book.
A tannery then she would have required and where would she have disposed the waste? of course, into the water bodies. Paradise would stink!
Beelzebub too would have disguised himself as a scientist and in the name of experimentation, would have initiated and accelerated environmental toxicity.
Death would have been the happiest of all. She would have made major money with her funeral home. The woman would have partied in the posh clubs in glitter attire.
Crime, loot, murder , jealousy, rape, hypocrisy would have spread wings in Heaven too.
The Holy Trinity would then have formulated a Congress and also the justice imparting body, issuing statutes, making laws, sentencing Angels and humans alike. A constitution God would then have to draft.
Adam, stressed with the increased competition would have tried his hand in the Armaments business supplying ammunition in the two domains and guess who would have been be his first client ?
Satan of course !
He would have bought all the tanks and missiles, naval ships, submarines, modern weapons with fighter jets along and would have bombed the Hell out of Heaven. Shelling would have became a routine with the provided long range missiles. Even God’s thunder power would have failed in front of it.
Who knows Adam’s human ambitions would have taken a leap and he might have joined hands with the lord of Hell himself.
God saw this coming and was terrified. Humans are a deadly race. We ruin everything good given to us . To preserve the existence of his kingdom , Paradise was lost and justly lost !